Other notables from the 07 Cycling Awards...

All pics below are click able to enlarge-

The new SIDI "Gondarella" was presented to none other than our good ol friend The_______A!

Who's name I may never use on this blog, has filed suit against our own Good Time Charlie, ServiceCourse. Where's the love The GONDA!?

SHIT! shit! I didn't just write that, did I? oh god oh god oh god! No. No, I done running......

Sue me! That's frickin right! Sue me! Sue her, sue everybody! Hope you liked your award... all in fun.

Next up was a first for the Cycling Awards Party - our first live remote!
That's right! TR is holding the phone as we had "Tony the Cat" on the other end as he was "unable" to attend - ya need to click the photo, but he received this cuz he hit a truck head-on with his head-down! Died twice in the chopper, but in the end.. he made it! And what did he get for his efforts? That's right.... all he got was this stupid t-shirt. Oh, and another crack at life!

This is Rick. Rick took a 3week river trip down the Colorado River. Rick also took his wife. Rick also took food, a boat, drinks, friends, sunscreen and a BIKE & TRAINER! Yep - big props buddy - so you get a Curious George Rides a Bike CD to listen to as you ride that trainer! See Rick Win the Masters Worlds on Nordic Skis this winter! Go Dog Go!!

For some reason the Broke Back Idiot thought it would be funny to give me an award? mmmmm, I don't get it... No, I really don't.

Good ol Green Jeans narrowly pulled off the DNS award - but he'll be back.... oh ya

Has anyone ever seen such an authentic smile?

The Annual "Big Cajones" Award went to none other than The Patch! At __years old, she keeps all riders off Pacolocks rear wheel not to mention keeping him in "recovery porgy"

Presenting the BC award is the winner of the Future Man Award - for his "next year is my year" approach! The Eagle-

The "Dead Salmon" went to Too Tall Todd for all his hard work

in getting the river trail paved for all - "It's an up-stream battle, and even if you don't get laid - in this town - you still get fucked!

And then you die."

And then there's BBI - this is the actual rock he landed on braking his back in 4 places- if you need a primer, go back to Oct on the blog and read on.... IDIYIT!

Tour De Nez is "Big On"!!!

June 18-21 – 5 stages

It's one of the best stage races out there and Tim Healion is the master behind it. It's racing sure, but it's a festival for the senses with food, fun, music, a great family atmosphere, and all set in one of the best places in the country: The Tahoe area. Mix in a little bit of Truckee, Tahoe, and Reno and you have a recipe for one top-notch experience. Check out for 2008 because with a new schedule and added stages, it should be something you mark on your calendar.

http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/13427.0.html

When baiting a mouse trap, always leave room for the mouse..

More from The 2007 Cyclings Awards Party-

Even though Safeway has dis-band this year, it's team mates keep receiving awards - my next door neighbor known as Fat Tony (who is shedding lbs fast) also see: http://servicecourse.blogspot.com/2007/11/with-friends-like-these-who-needs-any.html

Ya, same guy... wed's this great girl, and at dinner one night we're all talking about sex and then more specifically.. ahem... wellllllllll, ya know the kind of sex where you look like superman at 80mph sporting the worlds longest flesh colored mustache shaped like legs blowing over your shoulders? and the comment was made "does Tony even know about that" followed by a quick return of "I just use Velveeta" OMG! super clever! She just baits the trap! I know T has been on an eating binge so this strikes me as genius!

Two days later, Tony's special lady friend and I are in the car and I bring up how frickin funny her comments were, and she looks at me as if she had not been at said dinner? "What the hell are you talking about"? "Ya know, the Velveeta - that was the funnest think I ever heard"! She looks at me like I'm insane - " No No, I said he's from ALAMEDA! Not Velveeta!" WTF?

So Fat Tony gets the Big Cheese Award! and a lesson in the "Superman"!

Pacolocks, the Three Bears, and truth behind Randall’s leaving the country.

More from the 2007 Cycling Awards Party

click on the photo to read the plaque-

Paco hit a bear this year on his bike sparking the story below which was read to him prior to receiving his trophy-

Once upon a time in a neat little cottage there lived three bears
One was a daddy bear and one was a mama bear and one was a wee bear.

While they were out a-walking, through the deep woods, a-stalking came a little man with white hair on a little bike
His name was Pacolocks and he rode with great speed – such a speed not a bear could match. We know this as Pacolocks struck Papa Bear before any formal greetings were made – now Papa Bear had spoken to his neighbor, the long boarder who had much the same run-in with Pacolocks and knew the dangers of an introduction to the little man on the bike- “I’m Pacolocks damn it!” echoed thru the valley….


Once contact was made, each seemed to fear the other all the more – Papa bear gathering up Momma and Wee bear, and as Pacolocks picked himself up, just then his trusty Elf “Patch” arrived – the Patch looked around and sensing danger said in her wee voice “Pacolocks, we’re outa here” and with that, for home they head-

Meanwhile a stranger knocks upon a door, he knocks but no one is there…
So he walked right in and had himself a time cuz he didn't care. The door was not fastened, because Pacolocks and the Patch were good Folks, who did nobody any harm, and never suspected that anybody would harm them.
Upon the stove sat a big pot of porridge- once full, he emptied all the contents of the hard drives to his flash drive then dug thru the drawers for any cash and jewelry – like the matching right-side diamond of Pacolocks earring set.
Then he got sleepy, went upstairs to bed, when...
Home, came Pacolocks and the Patch!
Hey, someone’s been eating my recovery porridge said Pacolocks,
Someones been eating my recovery porridge said the Patch,
And then they noticed the worst of it all, the cloths on the floor were all heaped in a ball. The cloths had been dumped all over the floor, and gone were the ones used to dress like a whore…. Yes, the intruder had put on some of the Patches more erotic clothing…..

And Pacolocks said in a huff “this will not stand!”
Sooo Pacolocks and the Patch slowly, and I mean slowly, crept up the stairs to see…
Just then Randall woke up, broke up the party and beat it out of there with flash drive in hand
Bye-bye! Shouted Pacolocks
Goodbye, said the Patch
And they watched as Randall ran all the way to Austria – dressed like a whore…

All good stories have a happy ending… Now that Randall is gone, the Three Bears are having a hell of a time running the bike shop they received in the settlement and Pacolocks and the Patch are at Victoria’s Secret!

More tomorrow-

EXTRA! EXTRA!

AP: 18 Nov

What X-Pro racer came clean at the 2007 Cycling Awards Party Saturday night?

And why did he choose such a "social" person to tell his deep secret? Could it be he's tired of living a lie and simply wants the truth to come out - OUT!? Na, he just spent the night hiding his team trading cards all over my house! Great fire starters-

STAY TUNED AS ServiceCourse DEVOTES THE ENTIRE WEEKs COVERAGE TO THE 2007 Cycling Awards Party!

Bike sex man placed on probation

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.
Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.
Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.
Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.
Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.
"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.
Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."
Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.
The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.
He now lives in Sacramento.

*The Breakfast of Chumpions *

The indictment, culminating a four-year investigation into steroid use by elite athletes, charged Bonds with four counts of perjury and one of obstruction of justice. If convicted, he could be sentenced to a maximum of 30 years in prison.
Shortly after the indictment was handed up, Bonds' personal trainer, Greg Anderson, was ordered released after spending most of the past year in prison for refusing to testify against his longtime friend.
"During the criminal investigation, evidence was obtained including positive tests for the presence of anabolic steroids and other performance enhancing substances for Bonds and other athletes," the indictment said.

ToC....

The Tour of Ca route is anounced!!!

Going up: There's more of this sort of thing in the 2008 Tour of California
After two years of testing the waters in their Amgen Tour of California, race owner Anschutz Entertainment Group and race organizer Medalist Sports are ratcheting up the difficulties for the third edition next February. Until now the highest climb on the course was the 2155-foot San Marcos Pass into Santa Barbara in 2006, while the ruggedly steep Sierra Road, prior to the stage 3 finish in San José, tops out at 1943 feet. Sierra Road remains for 2008, but prior to tackling this redoubtable ascent, the riders will have already climbed the 4360-foot Mount Hamilton; and on the eight-day race's final stage, they'll go even higher, when the course takes them to 4906 feet elevation at Mill Creek Summit in Angeles Forest above the finish in Pasadena, 1,078km (or 670 miles) from the start in Palo Alto.
The new climbs will undoubtedly change the dynamics of a race that has already achieved acclaim from the UCI ProTour teams that should again make up half of the starting roster. Defending champion Levi Leipheimer has changed teams, but when he debuts his Astana colors next February 17-24 he should again have the strong support needed to help him achieve a second overall success.

NYC Bike Messenger Race

Fixed gear, no brakes in NYC traffic. Worst injury? Getting your giant balls caught in the chainring!

freeBASE Training!

AP: 10 NOV 2007

This is how SSN rolls when one of our own reaches a milestone. Mikuni's own Taro, skips the big Pewee Herman "cum-back" party at Acro Arena in lieu of the RR 40th B-Day bash n rain-soaked hung-over next-day ride -much more on that Tues... Anyway, raw fish a-plenty and The little Miss lay'd it on the line for her man, and popped out of her

shell(s) with a few nuggets that you will never read about on this Blog! Mmmm, maybe a pic or two.... stay tuned - and the Blog counter went crazy...

Some tried to hide their fun...

Well, actually, this was taken while I was trying to talk his wife out of breast implants

JD - I am truly am sorry for this.

Keep reading!

Jlaine showed his new line of .... men's sox? Fitting!

and a great time was had by all!

Stock photo

The Darkside rocked it with a "revealing" hop fueled speech..

Happy Birthday!!

PHOTOGRAPH QUESTIONS EXTINCTION OF BIBLE-TOTING SPECIES

RARE SIGHTING NEAR OHIO CHURCH
Eerily reminiscent of the famous 1967 Bigfoot picture (inset), a blurred figure carrying a Bible was recently caught on film in a church parking lot in Ohio. Anthropologists are hopeful that this proves that the supposedly extinct species has survived the Church Growth Movement and will soon repopulate the Midwest.
The scientific community was rocked this month when new photographic evidence was presented which appears to confirm the existence of a homonid species long considered extinct by most experts: the elusive Bible-carrying churchgoer. The photograph, taken by Clem Pilsner, is the first known sighting of the creature in twenty years which anthropologists have officially named “Homo biblia sacra” or “Suburban Bible Man.” If the photo is authentic, it would be the first verification of the existence of this Bible-toting species since the beginning of the Church Growth era.
Pilsner, a window washer from Ripley, Ohio, took the photo on Sunday morning, January 16th, with his new Sprint picture phone. “I was driving my truck to get another six-pack before the (football) game when something caught my eye,” he told The Sacred Sandwich in an exclusive interview. “At first glance it was just a dark figure walking across First Church’s parking lot. But when I seen it carrying a Bible, I about dropped my breakfast burrito.” Fortunately, Pilsner was able to take a quick snapshot with his cell phone before the creature disappeared into the church building. “I’m just thankful my horrified screams didn’t shake the camera too much,” he added.
Deacon Horatio Boomer, an official spokesman for First Church of Ripley, refused to comment on the sighting. “We don’t feel comfortable speculating on such fanciful tales of fiction,” Boomer sternly announced before heading toward the church building. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have to get the church ready for our Left Behind reader’s group.”
In stark contrast to the church’s apparent skepticism, the townspeople at Harry’s Diner were not surprised at Pilsner’s shocking discovery. “We’ve been hearing about this critter off and on for years,” waitress Gloria Philpot explained. “Last year, when Stu Murray claimed he’d seen it over at the Catholic Church we laughed him out of the diner. But when Clem interrupts his Sunday beer run to snap a picture of the thing, you gotta take it seriously. We're just glad he didn't have his gun at the time.”
While specialists who have examined the photograph generally agree that the Pilsner photo is not doctored, they cannot verify that the object in the creature’s hand is actually a Bible. An FBI document analyst, Harold Tucker, has his doubts. “We’ve had hundreds of sightings over the past three years,” Tucker explained, “and inevitably they always turn out to be holding copies of The Purpose Driven Life or The Prayer of Jabez.” Tucker’s conclusions so far? “Considering the lack of suit and tie on the creature, my gut tells me we’re possibly looking at an Xtreme Teen Bible, and not a King James.”
When asked if this could be evidence of a new, evolved species of Homo biblia sacra, Tucker replied, “Don't be stupid. Christians don’t believe in evolution.”

Happy Birthday Roy Rutherford!

Gender: Male
Date of Birth: 09 Nov 1967

Birthplace: Coventry
Hometown: Coventry
Country: England
Division: Super-Featherweight
Height: 5 ft 6 in (1.676 m)
Record Status: Won 17 (KOs 6) Lost 4 Drew 1 NC 0 ND 0 Tot 22

Oh the humanity...

1. “When I hear on TV that a cyclist has been hit and killed by a car, I laugh; I think it’s funny,


2. “If you are a cyclist you should know I exist, that I don’t care about you. That I don’t care about your life.”
   

95.5 radio broadcast of “The Playhouse” on July 13, 2006 and July 16, 2006 included a number of inflammatory statements that could negatively impact the safety of Portland. These statements may have included sentiments that news of people dying is funny.

....and then this guy,

During morning rush hour 6/2, a DJ for Bernie Miklasz Show on local "sports" station, AM 1380, said the proper place for bicycles is underneath cars.

My biggest pet peeve with bicyclists is when they destroy the environment by not getting out of the way, causing huge numbers of cars to back up and use more gas and spew more emissions. When possible, bicyclists should pull over and let the backed-up vehicles pass. Some "critical massholes" deliberately block traffic, taking up all lanes, causing enormous extra oil consumption and harmful emissions.
It's also bad when bicyclists speed through stop signs and red lights. Few things cause more road rage against innocent bicyclists than the bad cyclists that want the rights to use roadways without the responsibilities. Cyclists caught breaking traffic laws should be ticketed as if they were in a car. Naturally a "St. Louis stop" of say, under 5 MPH, shouldn't be a problem, but some go through at 20 MPH or more.
If the "spandex geeks" and "critical massholes" behaved better, there might be fewer attacks on the good cyclists. Of course many drivers will be hostile toward cyclists no matter what, as they're intimidated by the superior people who don't drive.
———-Transcript of 6/2/2006 Bernie Miklasz show (bike segment starts 2h20m in):http://archive.streamaudio.com/kslg_am/bernie_miklasz_show%206-2-06.wma

Bernie Miklasz's email: bernie(at)1380espn.com
KSLG 1380 AM

5261 Delmar Suite 202St. Louis MO 63108

314-969-13801-

800-491-1380

f: 314-367-8647
22 Morgan StreetSt. Louis, MO 63102

314-436-3283

f: 314-275-8308
http://1380espn.com/
Dave Greene

General Manager / Program Director dave(at)1380espn.com

Just in case anyone wants to say hi....

Shake it off man...

Oh those Truckee Wheelmen! I took this pic before the start of a ride two weeks ago. We we're all just standing around when a certain "Cervelo Victim" basting about how great those bikes are, seemed to, ahem, prove it... well at least to himself.

I would love to "expose" his identity, but he has a gag order imposed on this blog. "The Spot" also known simply as "Spot", used to have a ton of fun with all this cycling stuff, but has now become very "self-absorbed" and drifted off the back...

Lost Dog
Reward.
Comes to Spot - if found, don't approach, call authorities. May be disguised in a 08' Webcor kit.

and then there's THIS!

Ryan Lipscomb, who lived to tell the tale after a truck ran over his head, safely ensconced in a bike helmet.
“I didn’t see it coming, but I sure felt it roll over my head,” said the grad student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. “It feels really strange to have a truck run over your head.”
The truck turned in front of him as he rode down a bike path, prompting Lipscomb to slam on his brakes and flip over the handlebars into the path of the truck, which kept on going after rolling over him.
I know people have the freedom to make their own dumb decisions, but I always wonder, especially when I see a parent riding helmetless with their helmeted kids. They’re soooo worried about their kids’ safety, but could care less about whether they themselves will be around to see the kids grow up.
When I was young, invincible and a fool, I didn’t wear a helmet on some days as I worked as a bike courier in DC. The old Bell was big, awkward and hot. Many days I did. But now, I guess I’m a helmet fascist.