Monday, November 5, 2007

With friends like these... who needs any more?

I'm sure we all have these "friends" like this. Ya know, the ones who would get caught with the weed and say "it's not mine - I was just holding it for Roy" which lead to "it's not a crime, everyone does it" and then, "no one told me the gun was loaded" We all need to recognize the problem - the warning signs...

I just got a call from my neighbor's new wife, and we're talking about Thanksgiving Turkey and Free Range vs. Organic etc... when she slips in the quote; "its like when you were doing searches on Tony's computer - I saw those!" and I'm like "what?" She says; "Well I was typing in something on Tony's computer S..he... and up comes a search - Sheryl Crows Tits! on the drop down" she said she called Tony out on it. Now, in the blink of an eye, no no, more like the clocking of a super fast computer, Tony processes... tic tic tic DING! "it was Gregg" I was offended! Right under the bus I go. No pause. Really no thought (kinda like him going to VOS) the proverbial "blink of an eye"

Sheryl Crow? Sheryl Crow! How about Google: super hot lesbian cycling Soprano's and chicken burritos! That one would have had my name written all over it! Not that I would have tried to get out of any search I've ever made, but Sheryl Crow? Hmmmm Ritchie Cunningham, not hard for her to see right thru this - maybe you could have pinned it on Klink? Ya see Tony - if that's your real name - part of the lie is to make the setup believable. But maybe its a bit more clever than that in by doing so you planted a seed that shouts "I'm a good Husband, I can't even lie! I'm the Tops!" Naaaaaaaa, way too much credit!

In knowing that, here's a little primer for ya:

The search history that displays in the search box on the Google homepage is stored by your browser, not by Google. You can clear the history or disable this feature entirely by following these steps:
Go to the “Tools” menu
Select “Internet Options”
Select the “Content” tab
Within the “Personal Information” area, select “AutoComplete”
To clear the current history, click on “Save Forms”
To disable this feature entirely, check the “Forms” box then send all results to:

I hope you race smarter than you live your life-oh, and remember, there's always a room for ya under the bus!


Andrew (My-alter-ego-hamish) said...

OK, I understand now how to clear my history etc, but can you walk through how I locate the justice options?

Johnny GoFast said...

Wait a minute...Roy has dope?

Anonymous said...

Um, it's actually SHERYL Crow tits.

Anonymous said...

Tony - you my friend are out of the club! I can't believe you would do that to Greg?

jonathan said...

When the Warden calls you to task, you just give it all up. Even your friends? No way. Time for "wife training 101." Take yer medicine like a man and dive on the frickin granade. "Yup, so what. Who cares about internet tits anyway. I window shopped hers and bought yours. Cuz I luvvvvvs you. Baby. Ouch. What did you do that fer?"
Past performance is no predictor of future performance, and my ability to give advice and take my own advice are not in synch, says the nearly marriage free loser.