Sunday, January 6, 2008

Broke Back Idiot "Reflects"....

Sent in from BBI just to let us all know things are "healing"........

Happy New Year Everyone Random thoughts and some Happy New Year wishes.New Year starts off with a big ole storm That’s good news. I have to go to work all 3 days of the storm. That’s bad news. I am almost legally single. That’s good news. But, not yet. That’s bad news.Drove to work yesterday in the storm which was a somewhat epic, but the return trip was full on epic. 80 was still officially closed but I got through and did well until 300 feet from my trailer. The road was not plowed up to my trailer, and I got the truck stuck at 2 am and Susan still has my snow blower. Walked home in my clogs and scrubs through 2 feet of fresh and got the shovel. (Note: clogs make poor footwear in snow deeper than 0.5 inches). Shoveled out a path wide enough for the truck to get home, (300 fucking feet), after digging out the truck itself. Oh, and every time I threw a shovel full of snow, the dog jumps up and tries to bite the snow, effectively blocking about a third of my shovel throws. We sounded something like this. Playful, “Yip Yips,” from Pearl and a steady stream of hostile “God Damn It’s” from me. Repeat that pattern 500 times. Or maybe 1000. Until 3 am.It takes longer than you might think to shovel out a 300 foot long path that is 4 feet wide with a psychotic dog doing everything in her power thwart your efforts and to have fun at your expense. Any recommendations of a good taxidermist? I don’t want to get rid of the dog, just make her more “user friendly.” The savings on food alone would cover the taxidermist fee in no time. “Pearl, stay. Good girl. Good girl.” Ah, isn’t life grand. As Sara Silverman says, “When life gives you aids, make lemonaids.” I was out skate skiing last week and skied up to a friend who made a shrieking noise and loudly ridiculed my hat. Embarrassing for both of us was the fact that I was hatless. Add to everything else a bad hair day. (To make up for her harsh comments, however, she thoughtfully did leave me a tampon and some hair spray on the windshield of my truck. Nice.)Seems like we got about 2 feet of fresh show at the house and 3 feet up higher with more coming. About time. Should fill in the terrain nicely with snow coming until Friday. I work today and tomorrow (that’s bad news), and then get the kids (that’s good news-playmates at my maturity level, well the boys are at least. Stevye has learned that female eye-rolling trick already and uses it on me frequently. I thought girls don’t learn that one until they marry, but my new theory is more along the lines of a genetically preprogrammed response that first appears in females as they near puberty, when in the vicinity of males. At one time I thought her behavior had to do with the fact that my maturity level plateaued when I turned 14, but after careful consideration, I said to myself, “Nah. That couldn’t be it.”)Hopefully will sneak out for some local back country action when the kids are in school next week. I didn’t think my mood was too bad until the neighbors complained about my Christmas Decorations. I was just expressing my holiday thoughts. So hard to please everyone. Really says what’s in my heart. Just like how I prefer my coffee, black and bitter. Cold and dark. Black black coal.JLPS. Ah, just messing with you. My heart is not any blacker that usual, but if you can’t laugh at yourself, well, ... You’d better laugh at yourself because everyone else is, and if you don’t, well, you’ll feel even more left out. But I did love those Christmas decorations.Happy New Year

BBI, We know you don't have a chick right now,
so I thought this pic would help cheer you up - look at the hot girl with the douch bag. Bro, be the douch bag - you can do it!
Beeeeee the douch bag! Plus you have a sweeter trailer than he does!

1 comment:

Johnny GoFast said...

This post had me moved to tears. Keep up the great work.