Monday, January 7, 2008

What's up with San Diego?

So what is with SD? Sunshine, Love - the beautiful people.... but what happens to these postcard models when they get behind the wheel? Well, some have already gotten their Lattes and the entitled American becomes suppressed. Those are the ones you want to see while riding. The others? Frickin Assholes! Ass-frickin-holes! I have ridden in many places over the years and BY FAR SD takes the title! This opinion -fact - is not born from one ride, but many. My folks live in the area. Now, before you think of palm trees and a ton of cars, picture back county roads where people live on acres and traffic is low. The first encounter was with my wife - a white Toyota PU is coming toward us and we are in single file on the right side of our lane... As this Assjocky gets to us he is completely in our lane coming right at us and as he swoops by he's flipping us off. SD- Bro, all I need are some cool waves and tasty buds. 10 miles later we have some Lady Asspilot hanging out the window yelling single file.... bla bla bla, but the King-O -SDildos is (and please note!) White Lexus CA plate: OMNI INC - any reader out there connected to CHP, DMV or the like PLEASE run him. On the New Years Day I did an 80mi team ride with the Ranchos and at the end it had shelled to two of us. In this area you have to ride on I-15 for one exit (legal) and take the 1st off ramp, a big urban off ramp that feeds a mall- 5 lanes, no cars - so I move over to the two lanes that turn left, and as I ride on the white line of the right - left turn lane - I hear the horn of KOSDildo coming up behind me at 60mph! This Mutherfucker zooms past my left leg with only inches as the left, left turn lane remains empty. Ahhhh... Red light you fat fuck - and the binders are clamped! Game on- KOSDildo is a fat Italian or Mexican wearing chunky gold jewelry and the first thing he vomits my way is "This is an automobile traffic lane - your not allowed to be here - get the fuck out!" OMG! How about Merry Xmas or Happy New Year? You can only imagine where it all went from there - I must say, I was surprised more than anyone that I chose not to beat-down this fat fuck. Arrrrrrrrrrrrr! And as he stomped his entitled American Carbon Footprint, what was left was his calling card - CA plate: OMNI INC !
Why is it some places are so much more "hot" than others? The rest of the time I was down in Socal, I rode out of Orange Co. and the people there are GREAT! not a problem and most of this was in much more traffic? It's like a disease?
If you are experiencing any of these side effects and have wondered if it was just you, you are not alone. YOU are an SD Driver:
Mind racing and unable to control thoughts and processes of the mind.
Panic attacks worsening.
Hot surges running through body.
Horrible nightmares.
Obsessive thoughts. (Going to lose it and kill somebody) A cyclist perhaps?
Just can't seem to feel any more.
Feeling like a zombie. Absolutely emotionless.
Physically numb. Could not even feel the water hit my body in the shower.
Lost all taste of food.
Severe dizziness. Felt like going to pass out or lose control.
Sleeping with light on because of the fear.
Feel disconnected. Really drugged out most of the time.
Heart palpitations and tightness in the head.
Flashes of memories and images from the past. (Uncontrollable)
Drugs have taken personal identity away, made feel unable to function like a normal human being.
Completely lost grip and hate to go out and be around people. Don't even feel comfortable with family.
Feeling like it will never end.
Feeling foggy and drugged out.
Urge to jump out of a fast moving car.
Feeling like I need to take life to end all of this.
Extreme head pain.
More depressed than before starting
Not sure will ever be your old self again.
A feeling of unreality.
Convinced of having some rare and fatal disease.
Hormones go completely wild during menstruation.
fatigue and problem in hands (predominantly left)which has become less tremors, more pain and slight stiffness and is spreading up (left) arm and into shoulder.
Head and body seem to feel detached from each other.
Feeling like "in Hell." Can't go to see doctor or to the hospital because I am afraid they will prescribe more medication or put me in the mental ward.
Bleeding from the nose, heavily.
Feeling like electrical current is running up and down spine
Memory loss with apathy
In a fog, can't concentrate
Nipple discharge
Loss of sex drive
Manic/depressive episodes
Weight gain of over 40 pounds
Head jerking and muscle spasms
Numbness in genitals
Small penis
Memory loss
Loss of sexual drive
Swelled penis
Sudden and excessive weight gain
Hating people, do not want to be around people anymore
Tremors, sudden jerky movements of muscles, extreme sensitivity to sound
Inner restlessness
Can't focus, hard to read words
Worsening of acne
Falling asleep at random times and not even remembering it (people telling the person this is happening)
Can hardly stand to look at anything anymore
Severe hot flashes while asleep
Difficult having an orgasm
Very aggressive dreams, dream of having battles with people from past
Severe mood changes, tremors in hands more hyperactive
Heavy sweating and electrical shocks that seem to come from within the side of the head
Milky discharge from nipples and very hot flashes and sweating while asleep
Can't seeeee comptur skrenn clearrlyyyy
Breast are getting larger, nipples harder and sticking out about 1" and swelling $10,000.
Awake several nights of the week all night and have gained 30 pounds in less than one year
Urge to drink excessively, never had this problem before. Feel like in pure hell, manic one moment, deeply depressed the next, severe headaches, sweating, nightmares, panic and fear
Feet stay cold and can't seem to get them warm
Have not had sex for over one year since starting Prozac
Need for increased dose for same symptom, depression and severe cleaning compulsion are back and already at 100 mg daily of Prozac
I quit, doing crazy things. On the way to work stopped and got a tattoo. Hate tattoos!
Sleepy all of the time
Dramatic weight loss
Manic depression, numbness of body, tremors, racing thoughts, hot flashes, hallucinations, voices and echoes
Excessive or "fake" happiness-not able to feel "normal" sadness or cry at all
Feeling like an incomplete person without sexual feelings
Feel like going to stop breathing
Cold for hours after jogging
Extremely paranoid, feeling like someone is standing outside of the shower with a knife-ready to kill me, constantly looking over my shoulder all of the time and jumping at every noise
Muscle and joint pains
Strange and vivid dreams with erratic sleep patterns
Nightmares, flashbacks, severe night sweats and feel sense of unrest
No emotion and brain twitches
Itchy, rashes on inside of legs, knees, under arms and back, hot sweats and flushes, very depressed, being very rude and short tempered
Severe mood swings, angry most of the time and violent
Lost everything
Lost job
dizziness and low blood sugar
Just don't care anymore
Flash anger, verbal aggression and uncontrolled bouts of swearing
Pain in the lower left hand side of the stomach
Sleeping A LOT (13 hours a night)
Self mutilation
Cutting self
Tongue pain at night
Ears ring all the time
Total inability to have an orgasm
Breathing Difficulty
Uncontrollable bouts of anger during which I can't even talk to anyone- totally overreacting to different situations.
Delayed sleep pattern, 1 hour later each day, turning the clock around during one year

In an effort to help save the future riders in the SD area, please deposit in the Municipal water system.

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