Many thanks on the tips below. (SEE: http://servicecourse.blogspot.com/2008/03/with-little-help-for-my-friend-bbi.html )
Many will serve me well. You can be my role model from now on. A few questions though. Like on the suggestion, “Prepare thoroughly for any task so that you can be sure you are ready. 5 min. to race time - where are you?? “ Is this a dig at yourself? A reference to, “its 1 minute after the race started, which lap are you thinking of joining in on?”After your pithy list of “helpful hints” below, I now feel compelled to spill the beans on the whole situation, and the sham of a life you have been living. I will start at the top.
Sit down, prop your jaw up, as this information will cause it to drop open and hang there wider that a 4th street whore’s legs. First the identity of the kingpin here. Why, none other that the blond bombshell you are married to. Yup. KP is behind this whole charade. You with me? One under the bus, and more to come. She is so worried about your fragile psyche, and your explosive nature, that she has set up this “pseudo life” for you. SC, time to belly up to the bar, and realize that it’s not real. See, she has hired all of us to help you. Did you ever wonder why all your “friends” are losers? Why are your “pals” the kind of folks who are all, in their own way, piloting Kamikaze planes into the tarmac? Let me open your eyes to the real world. Let’s just run through the cast of characters that the kingpin has hired to sustain you in your pseudo life. (Really, could one man have so many losers hanging around if they weren’t paid to be there?) Lets start with Fat Tony, Thought I should copy you on this as well, as you only kind of qualify as a loser. After all, you did need to resort to using the web to get a date (loser), but on the plus side, you actually found the princess. So, you actually are the winner. (I will not point out that she actually is the loser, for marrying one, and will keep that thought to myself).
“Live and learn,” said the kingpin. “I’ll hire one step higher up on the loser scale for my man next time”Whoops. Her second hiring was perhaps her second misstep, after Fat Tony, and on this one she mis-stepped so hard as to break both ankles, destroy the mortise and nearly render herself a permanent cripple, and only her quick thinking in the following hires saved her from certain disaster. Who was this person who nearly derailed her loser-built scafolding to hold you up. HOT TALK!!!! “Wasss upppp?” She thought she had him on the payrole, and then he sends her a COD on a shipment he redirected to himself. He was let go right then and there. No more need be said here. Those that know him all heve their own HT stories.
So, smartly she gets her act together and goes with Sven. Bicycle racer extrodinore. Emphasize the “ex” part of that word. Relationship wizard, ebay selling furniture refinisher who doesn’t refinish furniture? Makes you look pretty good by comparison, huh? Now the Kingpin is hot, and getting cocky. Her strategy of surrounding you with “pals” out of the loser pool is working, and working well. So she goes to town and keeps hiring. Next up, and perhaps the actual star of the show? The GONDA!!!! Back from europe for another continental engagement. He’s your friend. He’s not. He’s your friend. He’s not. He’s on a ride with you. He’s not. He’s attacking. He’s not. He’s selling his house and moving away from you. He’s not. He loves the Gondarella shoe trophy. He ..., well, actually, he never loved or even liked the trophy. Never mind on that one. Whoops.
When TG starts to look a bit normal and routine, she empties the bank account and hires the only man in Truckee living the loser lifestyle 24/7/365. All loser, all the time. Not to brag too much, but, yup, this one is me - BBI: Relationship failing, bicycle crashing, non-Mercedes driving, back-breaking idiot of spectacular proportions not seen previously in these parts. Sponging for bicycle maintainance and furniture moving assistance. Wow, by comparision, I really make you look great. Again, hired, packaged and paid for by the kingpin. So there it is. All of us here for you, orchestrated by the kingpin. Sorry to crash your world. Whoops. My bad. I'm taking my house and moving!
BBI - DO NOT POST THIS ON THE BLOG. ASSHOLE.