Monday, March 3, 2008

The Mutt and the African American

Race: Merco Master 35+ 123
Field - a lot, 120?
SSN team: Greg Betonte, Rob Cady, Chris Buzzoto, Jason Brown, Brian Choi

9:30 AM - We arrived near each other by the new fancy SSN car and begin to warm up.
9:45 AM - get number and start the routine.
10:00 AM - start warming up
10:45 AM - get off trainer and start rolling around inner part of course
10:50 AM - get back to my car for last minute water change, kiss wife
10:55 AM - Greg is still warming up on trainer without jearsey on, listening to something good.
10:56 AM - I tell Greg, "race is starting"
10:57 AM - Greg says, "what? race doesn't start until 11:30, hey Jason, what time does race start?"
10:58 AM - I don't know what to say, I just go to start line and everyone is lined up listening to last minute instruction. Rob Cady is lined up at the front.
11:00 AM - Gentlemen, start on the whistle, "go".

2 laps later, I am the last person in the pack. Then Greg & Jason magically show up next to me. I don't know and don't want to know... We are all in the race now. Rob, Jason, Greg get near the front and begin to race. I begin a little experiment to sit in the back of the pack for good part of the race and reserve for final 1/3 of race and also save for up comming cat 2 race i registered. I thought with course being so fast and such a big field, nobody would get away. NOT. while I was watching from the back and listening to the announcer, group of 10 guys roll off the front and race over.

And now.. The Rest of the Story....

As Jlaine would say: Weeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll......
Two races this weekend. One starts at 11:00 - here, say it, Elllllevennnnnnn... Ok, and one starts at 11:40.... Ellllllleveeeeeennnnnnnn Forty. Ok got it. Good. Now were gonna bring in 3 other guys and blindfold them, spin them around, and while they are spinning we're gonna tell them what time the race starts. Ya with me? Good! Now to make it that much more fun - One guy is Chinese, one guy is African American, one guy is as White as they come, and the loud mouth guy is an Italian mutt mix......
Now, our cameras were hidden so we could see what really happened.....

The Chinese guy knows something's wrong. He mentions it calmly.... gets little reaction, and does not press the matter.

The Italian mutt mix ignores the Chinese guy as he was wondering why the Chinese guy was warming up at 10am - nearly 2 hrs before the race? What does he know that the rest of us don't?

The African American guy is sitting in the car listening to House music unaware of the danger their all in....

The super white guy has covered his own ass, and is out at the start line thinking, "if this really works, I just gained 3 more places and the guns just about to go off". Plus, he was the one who said the race starts at 11:30? "My plan is working perfectly......whoooo hee ha ha ha... WA HA HA HA HA!

The Italian mutt mix gets the word from the disappearing Chinese guy that their starting the race -

Franticly the Italian mutt mix is pounding on the door as the African American is in his grove yelling "the race is starting!" "THE RACE IS STARTING!"
There is no way the African American is ever gonna open the car door to some frothing white guy pounding on the window yelling...
finally,,,,,,,,,, he gives in.
"The race is starting!" "THE RACE IS STARTING!" WTF!? In a calm, deep, R-rated movie voice he says "I'll never make it - let me help you - at least we can save one!" "Get your shit on John Wayne n lets go!" "I need water" The Mutt gives him his water bottle, locks the door, and hides the keys (yes Roy, hides the keys - speed suit, no pockets - it-tll be fine) Just then the African American announces that the mix in the Mutt's bottle will not do...... ARGH! New mix and their on their way.

At the course: Mutt climbs under a truck trailer covered w/ grease to roll up to the back of the line, and just for good measure looks left before emerging out - and there it is, in all it's great let-down glory, the frickin pack rounding the last corner of the first lap coming right at him! Muther F&%&*R! -

Mutt: Hey can we just jump in?
African American: Follow me!

They ride around the back of the buildings lining the course and right into the back of the field on the second lap - the Mutt w/ an SRM reading of 3min on the trainer and the African American with none!

And so goes the lost chapter of how the Mutt and the African American arrived at the side of the Chinese back-marker two laps into the race-
Go team.....

1 comment:

jrennie said...

If wisdom and experience don’t come with age then what's the benefit? This is why you old guys should have All-Bran in the morning to “get you going” and be on time.